Lucy and a Dragon
by The Jaded Leopard
Summary: Lucy came back to her hotel room after a mission, and found a baby on her door step. After looking non stop for his parents Lucy came back to Mongolia with the baby hopeful that the guild will help. What she didn't expect was Laxus being the most helpful, and when she goes on a mission, she takes non other than Laxus to help. Lucy becomes Mama, and Laxus becomes a Papa. OC baby.
1. Lucy and a Name

_Hello my, yes it is I, Director Leo with yet another story for my readers. I know you all probably think I am crazy, writing 3 stories at once. **SO, if you don't already know, but I put the date for when the next chapter is coming out on my profile page, and the date is almost always accurate!**_

_Also…. I have gotten a few PMs asking if I named myself after Loki the lion also known as Leo….no I did not. It was a coincidence. Not a happy one at that…. Just so you ALL know! 'Leo' comes from LEOpard in Jaded Leopard! Now Laxus please give us a quick recap of what I just said so everyone can just read what you said and not read what I said._

_Laxus: **NO!**_

* * *

Lucy's POV

How did this happen to me? I look down at the 10 month old baby. H e showed up out of nowhere. I didn't get married and decide to have a baby, I didn't get pregnant with my boyfriend, and I don't even have a boyfriend! I didn't even have a one night stand for Christ's sake. The kid just showed up out of nowhere outside my hotel, exactly one month ago.

I took him o the doctor the next day and he told me he was born about nine months ago. Meaning he was born in October. Mister baby had no name or anyone with him when I found him. I was in the town over from Mongolia, and I stayed there with him while putting flyers up everywhere and knocking on every door. I even asked Crux to look into his background. Nothing came up. The poor baby was all alone, and I ended up with him. I'm starting to regret going on a solo mission.

I was now in my apartment with Loke, looking through a baby name book. I can't keep calling him…He. "What about Ryuunosuke? It means dragon!" Loke said pointing to at the book. "When I said 'dragon' I didn't mean noble dragon of herald', and it is way too long! Try something else Loke."

"But I like this name it's very….regal." Loke said sitting on the bed, pouting. I throw the book at him and yell, "If you don't start helping me look, I swear I'll close your gate, and won't call on you for a week!"

"Fine, but I still think Ryuunosuke is the best name so far. Ooooo~, how about Diaki! That means 'large tree'!" Loke smiles falling off the bed on to the floor, next to me. The baby in between my legs playing with blocks I bought him, started to cry after hearing the name Daiki. "No way Loke. He will be humiliated when is older, if he keeps the name after he finds his parents! Try again!"

"Picky, picky it's not like you're going to call him that his whole life, it's just until his parents start to look for him or we find them, and you didn't find them soooo…" Loke said laying down on his stomach next to me. I roll my eyes. He thinks I'm going to keep the baby because he reminds me of myself, and I get attached to things. The simple fact that makes him wrong, is that at 18, I'm not ready to raise a kid.

"How about Takashi? Lots of people like that name! No one will make fun of him or anything."

"Exactly Takashi is too common, I want a name that he can make his, not a regular old name. Try again!"

"Takashia….Takahiro….Tatsuhiro…. Suoh…Ryoto…Ryu…"

"Wait…Ryoto. I like that, and I like Ryu. What do you think, Loke? Naming him Ryoto? His nickname can be Ryo! How is that Loke?" I look over to him holding up the baby. I hear baby Ryo laugh. I turn him around and give him a raspberry on his stomach, right where the shirt I just bought him rides up. "We have to give him a birthday. So if he is with us in October."

"How about October 5th? 5th because you found him on the 5th." Loke says tickling him under his chin. "I like it, but Loke….how am going to take care of him….will I take him on missions?"

"If you have to I guess. I'll babysit, and so will Virgo and Plue. You can always count on us, Lucy."

I look over to him and smile. I pick Ryo up and gave him to Loke. I go over to the table and grab the bag I carry around that has all of Ryo's stuff in it. A…..diper bag….i'm turning into a mom…. I think I'm going to b sick. I pull out a jacket I bought the other day for Ryo and hand it to Loke who put it on Ryo. The blue jacket really did bring out his golden eyes. Loke once said he looked like a "mini lucy". Blonde hair, and golden brown eyes.

Loke hands me Ryo and closes his gate leaving me with Ryo. Ryo then starts to nussle me under my chin until his head fit comfortable on my chest. He was a very spoiled child. I open my door and proceed to Fairy Tail. They haven't seen me a month…now that I think about it. I took a mission, that only lasted a week….they're going to kill me.

* * *

Once I opened the guild door I noticed how quiet it was. "Um….is everyone okay?" I ask going down the steps. Everyone's eyes turn to me and I see tears, not just those tiny tears, but big tears that come with snot balls. "Lu-chan? Is that really you?" Levy came over to me with wobbly eyes."Yes Levy-chan…why?"

Then Levy started crying harder and hugged me with all the force in the world. I had to move Ryo so she wouldn't crush Ryo. Then the next thing I know is everyone is hugging me…..which equaled a smashed Ryo, who started to cry none stop.

Everyone stopped hugging me, and backed away a few steps. "Uhh…Bunny Girl, when did you have a baby?..."

"I didn't."

"But Lu-chan you have a crying baby on you!"

I look down and see Ryo nussle deeper under my chin, and start to whimper. I rub his back, and say, "Levy-chan, Gajeel, I would have been 8 months pregnant before I left to have a kid, and then add a couple more months to that to make Ryo this old. I found him that's all.

"Why the hell is Blondie holding a baby?" Laxus asks from the door way. He came in and sat down in front of me with Evergreen, Freed, and Bickslow surrounding him.

"Well ….you see….. " I started looking at him nervously.

"Sit." I sat."Now start from the beginning." I sign shifting Ryo so he was looking at Laxus.

"After I finish my mission, I came back to the hotel. In front of my room door sat Ryo." I said holding him up showing them who Ryo was. "I stayed in town putting up flyers and everything, but no one claimed him. So I came back with a brand new baby. We just named him. Me and Loke." I sigh showing I'm done with the story.

"Short story. Though there would be more to it than that. The kid was just abandoned." Laxus stated.

"That's the thing Laxus. I asked Crux to take a look and he found nothing on Ryo it's like he appeared out of nowhere."

"…" Laxus started to stare at Ryo and Ryo looked him straight in the eye. Then started to laugh, leaning forward. I lifted him up and Ryo started to pull on Laxus's hair laughing. "What the fuck kid! Get off! BLONDIE!"

"What! It's not my fault! Ryo, let go of Laxus." I whined trying to pull him off. After what seemed like an hour I finally got him off. I looked up to see Laxus's hair all messed up. I giggle at him and he frowns even more. "Well it seems that I have some investigating to do."I jump as I look over to my right to see Master Makarov.

"Master! Where did you come from!?" I say, making Ryo flinch.

"I was here the whole time! Hehe!" Master smiled, "Now everyone give me some alone time with Lucy."

I walk over to Master as everyone walked away talking about how cute baby Ryo was and what Team Natsu is going to think about baby Ryo. "Master…I know I shouldn't, but while I'm taking care of baby Ryo…can I take him on missions. Virgo, and Loke says they'll take care of him while I do the more dangerous things!" I say pleading my case.

"I'm reluctant. Is there anything else? You seem to have something else on your mind."

"While….Ryo has a first name, and he is taking my last name until we find his parents, but he doesn't have a middle name. I was thinking…. Can it be Makarov?" I look him straight in eye and see that it was all dreamy. Did I do something wrong?"Lucy, this is the first time anyone was named after me!" He says all dreamy like.

"Well Master, meet Ryoto Makarov Heartifilia." I say and watch as master takes Ryo from me and holds him up yelling, "MINNA! MEET RYOTO MAKAROV HEARTIFILIA!"

"MASTER, DON'T YELL IT!" I yell at him trying to take Ryo from him, but Master evaded my attack and moved him away from me. "I'M GOING TO SAY IT EVERY DAY! HE IS NAMED AFTER ME! HAHA!" I tried again, but again Master avoided it. Seeing me trying to get him and failing to, he started to cry, which caused Master to bring him down. I grabbed him and started to pat his back but he just keep crying. "MAMA!"

I froze. Everyone froze, even Laxus froze. I slowly held baby Ryo away from me, and again, "Mama!" I blinked. Then blinked once more.

I, Lucy Heartifilia, was not ready to become a mother. I was too young to be a mother. I, Lucy Heartifilia, became a mother without knowing so. The rest of the guild without knowing became Aunts and Uncles, and a certain Lighting mage, was going to help no matter what without anyone's knowledge, not even his own.

* * *

_Preveiws:_

_"HEY GUYS WE ARE BACK!"_

_"Natsu how are you?"_

_"Lucy, am I the dad?"_

_"Natsu you idiot!"_

_"Laxus, Ryo likes you."_

_"Master don't do that!"_

_"BLONDIE! Get him off of me!"_

_"WHOA! RYO BREATHS FIRE!"_

* * *

**BLOOPERS**

**Laxus: Wait what? What does that last part mean?!**

**Lucy: Seriously Director! Don't make things more confusing!**

**Director Leo: I say! This is not confusing.**

**Laxus:….you had a baby sat in front of a hotel room and naming the kid after Gramps!**

**Lucy: I think naming him after the Master was sweet!**

**Laxus: Gramps is a perv!**

**Lucy: Only a little!**

**DiretorLeo: Both of you shut the hell up! What I say goes, if I say jump you jump, if I say kiss Laxus, you kiss Laxus!**

**Lucy:….AM I going to kiss Laxus?...**

**Laxus: Better to ignore her Blondie.**

**Director Leo: Laxus in my office!**

**Natsu: I have no idea what's going on.**

**Director Leo: You don't need to, you're in the next chapter. Now Levy please!**

**Levy: Since Laxus is in trouble, and Lucy and Natsu are in a confused mess, I get to say good bye. SO~ BYE-BYE MINNA!**

**Director Leo: Finally someone I can count on.**

**Lucy and Laxus: Hey!**

**Director Leo : Laxus! Office!**

**Laxus :…*walking***


	2. Laxus Holds the Kid

Minna! Long time no new update! Yes I am sorry I had to update so late, but I did keep date with what my profile said! I can't say the same with my other story….. I hope the people who read it aren't mad…. SO now….*awkward silents*…..Yeah…..okay… OH YEAH! If you do not already know I put the date when I will update on profile page! I also have news I am going to start a new FanFic, another about Laxus and Lucy! Yeah! Oh BTW MY NAME IS DIRECTOR LEO AND I GET THE LEO FORM JADED LEOPARD, NOT FROM LOKI!

**Laxus: Oi Director, if you have a crush on me just say so~!**

**Director Leo (me): *punches in face* Why in the fucking hell would you think that!**

**Laxus: *holding gushing nose* You write about me all the time…..**

**Director Leo: If I had a crush on you wouldn't I be writing about you AND me?**

**Laxus: How do I know what you do on your spare time?**

**Director Leo: *Devil Glare* DIE…..**

**Laxus: Shit.**

* * *

_Recap: So Lucy has been called Mama by baby Ryo, the mysterious baby appearing on her door step of her hotel room, and not only that baby Ryo like Laxus's hair_.

* * *

**Lucy's POV**

I was sitting at the bar when I noticed Ryo's eyes. It has only been a week since baby Ryo came to the guild and no one could say no to him. Gave him gifts, and spoiled him rotten, I even heard Juvia begging Gray for a baby…

I look deep into baby Ryo's eyes and noticed his eye color changed. They weren't the same gold as mine, but a stormy blue, grey color. They seem familiar. "LAXUS, GET BACK HERE!" I turn my confused and worried face over to see what the ruckus was about. Laxus was running down the stairs with his anger Grandfather following behind him shaking his walking stick thing. I still have no idea was he carries that stick; he doesn't use it for walking.

"No, more paper work, Old Man! I have had enough! I am goin' on a mission!" he yells walking over to Mira with the S-class mission in his hand. Mira took it and said, "Not till Master agrees~! He!" Mira was evil. I could see her happiness at making Laxus ask for permission. I sign and take a sip of my milkshake when Ryo saw it. It reached for it but I pulled back, confused. Then he started to cry. I sit down my shake and start to pat his back rocking him.

"BLONDIE! Shut that kid up I'm trying to argue with the Old Man!" Laxus yells over to me. _That shit. He doesn't know how hard it is to know what baby Ryo was think. I just can't stop his crying._ I growl and walk over to him and hand Ryo over to him. "If it's so~ easy YOU do it!" I growl, crossing my arms, and start to tap my foot. Ryo started to cry harder as he looked at me, seeing how upset I was.

Laxus's hands were under his arms, so his shoulders were pressed into his adorable pudgy cheeks. I wanted to rip him from Laxus's hands and cuddle him, but I didn't want to grow up spoiled, because the way the search was going we will most likely never find his parents, because either his parents were dead, or abandoned him, and I was not raising him, if I had to, as a spoiled child.

"BLONDIE!" The idiot Laxus yelled panicked.

"YOU'RE BLOND TOO! NOW, SPARKY, MAKE HIM STOP CRYING!" I yell back my foot itching to kick him upside the head.

**Laxus's POV**

GOD DAMMIT! What the hell am I suppose to do with this thing! I look at the kid hanging from my hands, and try to think of things to do.

_Drop him._

_No that'll kill him; he was too squishy to make it to the floor in one piece._

_Give it back to Blondie._

_Her hands…..are under her arms._

_Give it to the crying Mira who was worried for the poor boy._

I look at Mira, who had teary, worried eyes and start to hold him out to Mira, and she was about to grab him, when Blondie kicked me in the head.

"FUCK ME! How in the hell do you have so much power in those!" I yell trying not to drop the kid. I had flown into the bar, and I saw the bar cracked. _Shit. _The bar was the only thing that held me up, because of the kid in my hands.

"Here, hold him like this." Blondie, Lucy, positioned the crying kid who was crying so loudly I swear my ears were bleeding. She picked the kid under his arms and laid him on the crook of my arm, so my arm was supporting his head, and then she folded my other arm under the one holding the kid. Then there I was holding a baby for the first time in my life. No one volunteered to give me their kid to hold before, I usually scared them away, but Blondie wasn't.

"There. Wait….THAT"S WHERE I SEEM THEM BEFORE!" Blondie yelled, staring at me. I look into her chocolate brown eyes, highlighted with gold; looked me in the eye. _That's a first, only the Raijinshuu look me in the eye_, Laxus thought then remember what she said.

"What do ya' mean Blondie?" I look at her when my arm slipped. The next thing I know the kid was on his head crying his eyes out. Blondie just squatted and sat him on his butt; as I bent down to see what damage I did, _If he is hurt…. I don't think I could forgive myself for hurting a … baby. _I mean he was kind of …..cute. _Shit I'm turning into a woman. _

"S-Sorry, Blondie." I stutter as the rest of the guild went into over drive yelling to get Wendy and blah blah. All I cared for was to see if Blondie was mad or if the kid was hurt, but it didn't stop me from noticing the guild running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

"Is he okay?" I ask looking at the crying kid.

"Hmmm~, he's fine. He isn't hurt or anything just startled. He'll be fine, besides he has a hard head. See, he is already settling down." Blondie said as she _finally _picked him up. The kid then proceeded to snuggle into her chest. _Lucky kid_.

"Why is he lucky?" Blondie asked looking at me.

_I said that out loud?_ "Nothin'."

"MINNA, WE'RE BACK!" I turn and see the idiot Flame Brain, standing next to Ice Princess, and Erza. Shiver. I then turn back to Blondie to ask what she remembered earlier, when I see the kid glaring at me. _What the hell?_

"Hey…Blondie the kid is lo- THE FUCK!" I yell as the baby launched at me, grabbing at my hair. Then he pulled….HARD. I hear a gasp as I try to get the stupid ass kid off. "BLONDIE! Get him off of me!"

I grit out trying again to get him off, but nothing was helping until he just let go. I drop on to my ass and look to see that the Old Man was holding the kid like I was earlier, and was laughing so hard, and I noticed the whole guild was laughing even the Raijinshuu and which I glared at them to shut up, but that just made them laugh harder.

"Master don't do that!" I look back to see Blondie trying again to grab the kid from the Old Man, but he just held it out of reach, with a stupid grin on his face. Tired as hell, I grab the kid by the back of his shirt and give him to Blondie who looked at me smiled an innocent sweet smile, which I didn't deserve, and said "Thank you, Sparky."

_Sparky, the hell. I was going to kill her, and enjoy doing it. No wait she's Nakama, if I kill her Gramps will get angry._

"Lucy, am I the father?" I look at Natsu the Flame Brain, who was staring at the kid. I was starting to get a headache. _Thanks, Blondie._

"THE HELL NATSU!" I watch as Erza, Lisanna, and Blondie yell. I sit down at the bar, and look at Blondie's milkshake. Hmmm.

"Natsu, you by no means are the Father…." Lucy said sweat dropping.

"Why not?"

"Have you h-h-h-h-h-h-h-had s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-se" then Erza fainted.

Laxus grabbed Blondie's milkshake and started to drink it when I watched Erza faint from the stress. Then Lisanna tried to explain.  
"Natsu have you slept with Lucy?"

"Yes" Natsu the idiot, growing stupider by the minute, every one knows how Natsu sneaks into Blondie's bed, because of her complaining, but i don't think the idiot knows what 'slept with' in this sentence...

"Natsu, you're not the dad, period besides you got Happy." Blondie says trying to keep her anger in a bottle, but the lid was going to pop.

"But- GAHAHAHAHAH!"

I blinked, then blinked again. The kid just shot flames at Natsu, from his mouth. I look at the kid and see he wasn't glaring at me anymore but at Natsu. He then pats my head, and giggled.

"PAPA!"

Then looking at Blondie he yelled,

"MAMA!"

I Laxus Dreyar, became a Father, and had to learn to parent with a one blond Lucy Heartifilia. We didn't know then, but we were going to be a happy family, but we sure as hell didn't believe it as some points.

* * *

_Preveiw:_

_"Laxus~!"_  
_"BLONDIE~!"_  
_"Blondie?"_

_"Why are you here?"_

_"Master said to come here."_  
_"Do you know why Ryo can breathe fire?"_

_"He has your eyes."_

* * *

**BLOOPERS:**

**Lucy: Awwwww~**

**Laxus: Blondie are you okay?**

**Lucy: I am, hey what happened in Director's office?**

**Laxus: *shiver***

**Lucy: Laxus *touches his shoulder* are you okay?**

**Laxus: *puts hand on her hand that was on his shoulder* Yeah…. I'm just having nightmares now.**

**Lucy: That's horrible!**

**Director Leo: What is?**

**Lucy: Director! How could you give him nightmares!**

**Director Leo: Hey, just because he's your boyfriend d-**

**Lucy: How do you know about that!**

**Director Leo: …. You don't need to know.**

**Lucy: *shiver***

**Mira: What's wrong Lucy?**

**Lucy: Director is scary.**

**Mira: Of course! How do you think we get such good rating if Director wasn't the way she is? How would Erza keep the guild in one piece?**

**Erza: Yes but….. her glare is supernatural.*shiver***


	3. Yelling

Everyone don't hate me but this chapter is going to be short! Yes I know you have waited so long for the new chapter, BUT I have to study for exams and I can not write fanfics all day long. Sorry…(no I am not….)

**Laxus:** Who cares about exams?

**Director Leo**: ….You are an idiot, you know that?

**Laxus:** Bitch.

**Director Leo: **Jackass.

* * *

**Laxus's POV**

_What the hell am I doing here? _I look at Blondie's door. I re~ally hate that Old Man right now.I sigh; _You got to be kidding me…._

**FlashBack!**

"_HELL NO!" I yell as I look at the Kid. The little boy was once again trying to pull my hair. Brat. "Blondie doesn't need my help!"  
"SEE!? I told you Master, I can take care of baby Ryo by myself! I don't need help! Beside even if I did I have Loki, Virgo and everyone else!" Blondie yells standing up allowing the kid to grab my hair once again. "GOD DAMNIT ALL! BLONDIE!"_

"_Will you stop it! He is just a baby, so stop yelling at him like there is no tomorrow!"_

"_The way this kid has be going, there won't be a tomorrow!"_

"_What the hell is that suppose to mean!?"_

"_That kid has almost burnt the guild down FIVE times since we found out he can breathe fire a week ago!"_

"_Laxus, it can't have been five times…." Gramps started to interject._

"_Oh it has, Old Man!"_

"_YO SPARKY! Baby Ryo has not almost burned the guild down!"_

"_Oh he has ,want me to count!?"_

"_Go for it!"_

"_One, when he almost killed Natsu!"_

"_How was that his fault!?"_

"_The Kid was the one to light Natsu up, and caused him to run around crying for help the whole time! And not just that Natsu is still in the infirmary with burns!"_

"_No he isn't! Natsu can't get burned, and even if he did I would know!"_

"_How would you! You just got here after running off with the kid to go on a solo mission!"_

"_Children please settle down…."_

"_STAY OUT OF THIS YOU OLD MAN!" Both I and Blondie yelled at my grandfather. Then we fought for hours. Blondie trying to justify how getting the guild ALMOST burnt to the ground was not the kid's fault, and me, proving her wrong at every turn. Then she stormed out yelling cuss words left and right all the way home._

"_Laxus, why did you haveto get her so mad?" The Old man asked coming up from behind me. _

"_Don't blame this on me it's HER fault for all of this."_

"_Why do you say that!?"_

"_If she was so ditzy she should have gone to the Rune Knights and turned the kid in, instead of bringing him all the way here, to another town."_

"_No, I think she did the right thing by bring him here."_

"_Now way do you say that?"_

"_Rune Knights wouldn't have looked for baby Makarov's parents like Lucy has. The poor thing would have been heartbroken, left in an orphanage. If he did what he has done here they would have left him for dead, or used him as a weapon. Like the Raijinshuu almost."_

_I looked at the Old Man sigh. He was right, but I didn't want to see it. If I did then I would have stepped in and tried to help as well, and I really didn't want to help the selfish Blondie._

"_Oh by the way here." Gramps then through a bag at me, "Give that to Lucy."_

_**End of FlashBack!**_

"Blondie open up!"

"NO!"

"Fine!" Then I busted the door down to see she was on the floor playing with the kid. I through the bag that the Old Man gave to me. "For baby Makarov."

"Master sent you didn't he."

"how did you know?"

"No one calls Ryo by his middle name but him."

"Wait…..his name is Ryu?"

"No Ryo, it's short for Ryoto. It means dragon."

"Huh….."

"Hey did you know Baby Ryo has you eyes?"

"Can't."

"Yeah he does! No too long ago his eyes were a gold-ish brown like mine but now they are stormy blue!"

"…..how the hell did that happen?"

"No idea, but I think I might know…."

"What do you have up your sleeve, Blondie?"

"A Book. A really old book."

* * *

_Preview:_

"_That is old."_

"_Told you."_

"_Where did you get it?"_

"_Family heirloom."_

"_DON"T EAT THAT!"_

"_What's in the bag?"_

* * *

**BLOOPERS!**

**Laxus:** Tired.

**Director Leo: **Here.

**Lucy:** What is it?

**Director Leo:** Coffee.

**Laxus:** Thank God.

**Lucy**: what does it do?

**Director Leo:** Gives you energy.

**Lucy:** Wonder what would happen if I give it to Wendy.

**Laxus:** Dear God don't say that!

**Director Leo:** DON"T EVER SAY THAT AGAIN!

**Lucy: **What, what did I do?

**Director Leo**: If you give coffee to Wendy she would never be the same!

**Lucy:** What would happen?

**Director Leo:** *shiver* DEATH.

**Lucy:** *glup*


	4. Old

**Okay** **everyone I am very sorry about the last update it was horrible I know it was short and I didn't put much details, but there is a reason. I am lazy….. no that isn't the reason. The real reason was called annoying cousins topped off with brothers who can't understand the word no. I mean who in the world would give a girl four people to watch at one time! Every time I turned around there they were! I had to lock them in a room until someone could cart them home. It was a bad day and I didn't want to leave the update day un-updated, so crap work went up… I was have tempted to just rewrite the last chapter and forget this update…**

**Laxus: You should have.**

**Director Leo: Yeah but like I said I'm lazy.**

**Laxus: Yeah we know that, have you read the scripts you gave us?**

**Director Leo: …..*whack* no but they do throw good.**

**Laxus: Bitch.**

**Director Leo: Jackass. Oh and XxShyxX thanks for all the wonderful ideas for me story.**

* * *

Laxus POV

_What the hell is she doing? _I look at Blondie with the kid chewing on my boot. _The kid must be teething. _I watch as Blondie sticks her ass in the air and starts to shack it as she looks under her bed. I look at the kid to see him watching too. "This my friend is called good luck." I whispered into his ear and then cover his eyes, "Good luck for me, and bad luck for you. You need to grow a few feet."

"You say something Laxus?" Blondie asks and looks over her shoulder.

"Nope"

"Hmmmmm…." Was all she said as she went back under the bed, this time going further and sticking her ass further in the air. Serious good luck.

"AH HA! Here it is!" Blondie says pulling out a giant book. It's covered her from the neck to her waist and was a little past her waist in length. The thickness of the book was about three of her hands and it was dark brown. The binding was worn and looked like it was about to break. The outside of the pages was stained yellow with age and were wrinkled.

"That is old."

"Told you." Blondie said, "I think I said exactly was 'A Book. A really old book.'"

"Don't get smart with me."

"Hai, I know. Don't back talk your elders."

_Shit, she really deserves a….God damnit! A Spanking is what she needs…. I really am old_. I growl and feel the tick starting on my forehead as she sets the book on the coffee table.

"I am not old."

"Sure your not."

"I'm only 23."

"Meaning you should be 30."

"God damnit, onna! Leave it be!" I yell pinching the bridge of my nose. She sure can get under the skin.

"Fine, but you're still-"

"How old are you! 15? Your still a baby!"

"Am not! I turned 18 the day Team Natsu and you fought Hades!"

….. I did not know that. I mean I don't think anyone knew that. I look at the kid at my boot to see he fell asleep on my leg. _Shit…. I feel guilty….shit….shitshitshitshitshit…change subjects…NOW!_

"Where did you get it?" I ask look at the book and back to her. Not only die her birthday happen without anyone knowing it, she had to fight for her life, and the guilds and hope she lived through her birthday to see another day. I really need to stop thinking about it. _Shit. _Not only that every time her birthday comes around people will think about how they lost seven years. _Lucky Lucy my ass…._

"Family heirloom." Blondie says and opens the book turning the pages.

"What are we looking for?" I ask looking down for the reclining chair to the open book, and Lucy sat down both her legs to one side.

"Um…. I am not sure, but everything and anything is in here…DON'T EAT THAT!"

Blondie yelled at the Kid, but it was too late after taking a bit of the book he light the book on fire. Well shit.

"M-my b-book! RYOTO HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO STOP USING FI-…..holy hell."

After staring at the fire that was slowly going out after eating the book, I turned to the kid.

"My gods…" The kid grew from the one year old to a three year old.

"Wat wrong, Mama?" The kid asks sitting himself in my lap., "Nook Papa! Mama nooks nike a gost!"

"I didn't understand that…." I said trying to pull the leech off of me.

"He said, and I quote. 'What wrong, Mama. Look Papa. Mama looks like a ghost.' Is that all or are you not shocked my Baby Ryo grew from a 10 month to a three year old! You really are senile!"

"Hey watch it! I could fry you into next week!"

"Yeah and why haven't you!"

"….because I haven't wanted to until now."

"You are an idiot, throw and throw."

"Hell if I am!"

"….."

"What?!"

"Don't talk like that in front of Ryoto."

"Huh?"

"Wat does 'ell' mean?"

Blondie looks at me and lunges. _SHIT._

* * *

_Preview:_

"_STOP IT!"_

"_Ryo…."_

"_AHHH, one big happy family!"_

"_His hair is spicky."_

* * *

**BLOOPERS!**

**Laxus: Director…..**

**Director Leo: I know.**

**Laxus: what are you goin' to do?**

**Director Leo: She is going to go in to the Office. I warned her.**

**Laxus: I don't think it was a clear warning….**

**Director Leo: We told her no coffee to Wendy, she gave coffee to Wendy.**

**Laxus: ….Hows Wendy?**

**Director Leo: Like we thought, running around town, and I think she got into the studio's garage.**

**Laxus: What's missing.**

**Director Leo: The chainsaw.**


End file.
